Rose

Received the third rose ever in my life today. First rose was from my youth leader when we were on the way to Bundu Tuhan, somewhere around the Kundasang. Second rose was during my secondary graduation. Third rose is today, the gift sending organized by Prefect Society. The one who sent me this rose didn't shown up his/her name but I guess it is a SHE. I guess that is from Wong Bik May, my bestie. Hahaha..

Heaviness....
My emotion was fluctuating since yesterday. Things weren't going as smooth as I thought. I got so high spirit yesterday morning for I have received a certificate upon my well-disciplined performance. At the same time, my heart was being down, really down when I know I have to act to be not too cared about that. My mood continue to be at down hill for the whole day for I am not able to go Hannah because of need to back to school today.

I miss Hannah members so much. They are my best friends and I am sure Rolly and Refy are able to comfort me. I know for now, I should stop moody and move on. That's part of life. I need to fight, fight for my study, fight for my ministry, fight for my future. I spent most of my time on Harry Potter today in the Biology Lab. When I heard his voice, I had a sense of excitement but when I look at him, that reminds me what I have said on msn with him. I continued my reading and ate by my own regret of what I have said.

Another attack on emotional just now. A creature of God commented on my blog on a specific blog about him. I hate that so much and I am set myself on a trap that I have fight back in a bad manner. Another proof how bad is my spiritual awareness. Hmm. I am sorry, my Lord. And I am sorry to who-so-ever-that-is-concerned, especially Gabriel and Nelson.

I should have make a time to clear out my emotion. Tomorrow is Wednesday, I wish to go for Mission Day but I have school on Thursday. Thus, I need to wait for 2 more days to really talk to my leader about this. I am sure they will ask "Why do you choose to let this happen after you make a decision to offer your life to the Lord?" This is the question that stopping from approach my leader but I gave up now. I will approach them no matter what question they will ask.

I want grow out from this, God has a bigger plan awaits me.

Once again, thanks for the rose  :)