Miracle and God's grace

Do you believe in miracle? I personally do.
It has to related to things that happened yesterday.

Yesterday was the worst day ever for my life in this year. The name list is out for those who can become a pengawas or overseer in the school. For your information, I am lower six now, Pre U. In Malaysia's Education System, for those who wants to further study to Local Universities need to have really good academic and co-curriculum performance. I have make known of this when I step my feet into this school. So, I worked hard to get some post in my class, my school, my co-curriculum groups. I managed to get assistant class monitor and now, this story about miracle and God's grace starts.

I have volunteered myself to be an overseer when the teacher was asking in the class and during that time, in my class, no one but me want to be overseer. After that, 2 of my subject teachers told me they nominated me to be overseer as well. I was really happy and I thank them for that as they had encouraged me so much to be a better student. Because of that, I kept myself disciplined and always remind myself, you want to stand on high ground, you need be hardworking and smart enough in playing psychology tricks. My mum is a smart lady and she has reputation among her friends and our neighborhood and the most best thing is she can make friends easily. She is much more sociable than me and she is good in playing around with psychology tricks and she was a brilliant businesswoman. She is my motivation that keeps me moving on and on so that I can give her a better life in future. I started to learn from my mum about all her skills in making friends and being sociable since I was 15 and realized I can easily make friends with those who are elder than but not those who same age with me. Most probably, my thinking pathway is different from them. I am serious with my life and everything I do. I believe some people have the same thinking pathway like me but it is really least.

I waited for around 3 weeks and name list was out yesterday and I am NOT on the LIST! I just collapsed in my Biology class. I stunned and my mind flew away. Keep on asking "Why why why?! Why I am not on the list?!" It was my worst day ever. I was sick and having flu and every virus growing in my body making me dizzy and sleepy. I almost cried when I met Mr Cheen whom is the head of overseer teachers. He is a friend of me, not so close but I am much more closer with his wife as she used encouraged me when I was in low spirit. I talked to him softly, asking why I am not chosen. He said he doesn't know why. He said he just received names from Madam Anitha. He advised me not to be frustrated and keep on doing my best job for myself and for the Lord. I was really comforted by that. However, I was still sad.

Just before I go home, I managed to met Madam Anitha and asked her why I am not on the list. She told it was the decision among the teachers. That really breaks my heart when I hear that. I am wondering are those teachers just fooling me about nominated me? It don't seems this way. It must be something wrong. Madam Anitha just said she will try her best to see what she can do for me. I don't expect anything when I heard this kind reply. I have heard this for many times when I go for interview for job.

Beside of sad, I was burning in the fire of anger because I just can't tolerate with those faker who shouted like ghost in the class making sound pollution that she doesn't want to be an overseer and bugging her friends for that. That's so disgusting! We are all 18. Can't she just have some maturity in her mind and settle the problem by herself? Anyway, last night was a bad night. I got nose bleeding when I kept on running my nose. However, the best thing always come at last.

I back to school today. She is not talking to me anymore. Most probably someone told her about I am naming her as "Pikachoo!" Well, I am mean and I am a bad girl in some way. I don't really care since I prefer to be alone when it needs to be alone and in group when it is necessary. During recess time, I saw my friends were going to duty. I felt happy for them even though I don't get chosen. When I was walking to where I usually group with my friends, Mr Cheen called me and told me to see him afterward. I was wondering what is going on this time? Am I getting a chance? I didn't went to see him straightaway instead, I spent some times with my friends as I knew there is a girl just came to my group 2 days ago after she has see the truth of her group of friends and she decided to come and join us. So, I talked to her and try my best to take care of her. That's what a friend's function, taking care and helping them.

I went into the staff room to see Mr Cheen and he told me that I am giving a chance to try, for 3 months. After 3 months, they will decide again whether who will truly be the overseer in school. See!! That's the most miracle part! I have already put this down and told myself "never mind. You will still be successful and active in school as an assistance class monitor." But this just pop out to me and I am so happy today even though I am still sick! This is truly the God's grace!! I thank God for this and everything even my sickness now. I promised myself and my mum that I will a good student, passing up my homework on time and I will make my mum meeting lots of teacher when she goes for my graduation ceremony and each one of them will give compliment to her that she has successfully brought me up as a good daughter.

I really look forward to that day :)
Some lil dirty secret: "Pikachoo" looked unpleasant when she sees me attended the overseer orientation just now. That just make feel...so well..so good..at least she has a lesson in her mind that don't overdo what shouldn't be done even though you are daughter to my ex principal and my aunt's friend :P

Old laptop but new system

I sent my laptop for format and check-up for the very first time for the three years I have been using it :S My laptop was working really hard for me. Keep tonnes of musics, pictures and movies, caused it to move slow as a turtle but thank God it didn't die half way when I am my work but just hanging there for few seconds. To reward my laptop's hardworking, I decided to clear everything from its burden. I went for format and I didn't do any backup. It's like I don't want to keep anything about my past. What's past, let it be. I need more space to keep the happy memory now.

I just got it back and my laptop move faster than before, like it's just a new laptop. I am really thankful to that guy who fix my laptop. He installed back everything that I needed in my laptop, except Photoshop. I don't mind that because I don't think I ever have chance to use that program again. I am such a noob in art so I decided not to install that for the sake of reserving some more space for new songs and movies.

Now, I am downloading some songs and the latest msn live messenger. The one in the system installed for me is too old :P I need something new for chatting. All I have to do now is wait and for the mean time I will finish my SICK Biology notes first. I HATE drawing but Biology is so many PICTURE TO DRAW!

In conclusion, I am happy to get back my old laptop and new system as my birthday present from my mum. What birthday present will be cheaper than this? RM 40 change a system and return back as a new laptop with old outlook :P

PreU might not mean PreAdult

Something happened in school today. I always thought that to be a pre-U student, we are already taught to be mature, fair, considerate, openness, thoughtful and other positive values. However, I was shocked to see a girl being rude and pushing someone when she walked by just because she doesn't like me and she doesn't like the people who are close with me.

I start to wondering am I right about Pre-U students should be equal to be a pre-mature adult (0,0)

I don't mean to bad mouthing about this girl but I think I should really learn to have more self control before I do something like what the girl did. My friends and I were discussing about exam and the results we got, this girl walked by and pushed my friend who is a senior and one of the supervisor in school. We kind of shocked and that girl just walk away quickly. I shouted to that girl " Don't you know what is manner?" but she just walked away.

I do believe she had fear in her when she heard I am shouting to her. I used to act like her when I was in my high school. I purposely go against the rules and regulations and end up when people subject about me, I stand up for myself, with fear. This is not the life that I want. I want my life which is upright and I stand up for myself fearlessly. I believe I have done that steps by steps. I pray that I will be a supervisor in school soon. I want to help the school to build up students that obey rules and regulations but not go against rules and regulations yet still not repent about their wrongs.

One and a half year of Pre-U life support to be a period where we prepare ourselves to be a university student and soon to be adult. We have to prepare to be responsible for our words, actions and thoughts because when we are out of the school compound or what I called as "protecting" area, entered into the community, you will have to face real mean things that we never thought of.

I worked for some years during my high school and I understood something about this community. To protect myself, I choose to be loyal to myself which mean I will be person who pay you back with the way how you treat me. If you treat me nice and well, I will share my life with you and accepting you to be part of my life. If you treat me with a "better" way, I will not do any reply because that's your life. You chose to use your life to hurt me, is your matter and I always thankful to those who hurt me because you make me grow even tougher as the year goes by and build up my foundation to be a better person as I won't give up because no one can destroy our lives besides ourselves first decided to destroy our lives caused others.

Monday~

I didn't go to school today, not because I am lazy but because there are something I need to do today, something must be done today.

I wrote a letter on behalf of my mother about applying leave for today. This is the first time in my life to do so because I always attend to school unless I am sick. So, I accompanied my mother to hospital today. After she have done everything, we went home and sent our cat, lil snow to the vets and do the sterilization. She is still asleep now :/ Quite worry about her.

Tomorrow is the first day of my uniform exam. I love exam :) I really do since I was 12 because that makes me know more about how much I have learn. Besides that, I enjoy the recovering time after a long time of stress and depression.

Anyway, tomorrow is PA and Biology. I have some confident in PA since I recopy the whole book of notes a week ago. Biology, I am still preparing on that.

Something I am not happy about today is my classmate, new classmate, S, she borrowed my Chemistry notes and promised she will return it today. I called my buddy just now. He said this girl didn't present to school. I was shocked. How come she is not keeping her promise?! Even though I didn't present to school but that's my matter. She should present and return the book to me or someone who is close with me. I told my mother about this and she said this time I should gain something from that - do not simply borrow any notes to anyone as the exam is near. My chemistry exam is on Wednesday. If she doesn't present tomorrow, I am going to flunk my Chemistry paper. Really sick of those who doesn't keep their promises.

Finally, pray for me and my lil snow so I will have wisdom to finish my exam and my lil snow's speedy recover.

Jacklyn

Reason I changed my blog

I was using blogspot before this and I switched to wordpress on July 2009 and today July 2010, I switched back to blogspot :)

Wordpress is getting complicated to me. I was busy almost everyday and if I want to blog, I need to sign in and there are not much options for the fonts, colour and background design.

I can even save my post from Monday until Friday and post them on Sunday. Wordpress doesnt have this function. Once you saved, you need to dig dig dig to look for that. So not convenient!

Anyway, tomorrow is Monday. The day after it is Tuesday, the first day of my uniform examination for General knowledge and Biology.

Wish me luck.

-crossing my fingers-