Learning process

There are mixed things I learned today, I mean for this moment.

I get to know how to approach people and get the information that I need. I don’t know whether my mum notice my changes or not, but I do noticed myself changed, a little bit.

There are encouraging and frustration today. What really encouraging me is the conversation with David this evening. I never expect he would call me up just because a text I sent to him regarding my mum’s health condition. I really appreciate his kindness and care upon a stranger like me. I just met him twice, face to face, but I never talk to him. The first time we talk is on skype, so as this time. What makes me feel encouraged is his advices and also his willingness to spend time and give me information regarding health issue to promote a healthier me and my mum. When I first get to know the things we have to change, I was almost scared off. Those things are too hard for me and my mum to change. We have been eating and drinking in that way, we are comfortable in that way. However, for the sake of being a healthy person, I discussed with my mum this health issue the next day after I talked to him.

Surprisingly, my mum listened to me without interruption. She agrees to make a change on her coffee drinking habits, the consumption of carbohydrates on breakfast and dinner. She is willing to change. I was grateful and glad to see she applies what I told her. I do the same thing with her. I have oats as my breakfast and lunch and brown rice for dinner but dinner usually more vege and less meat. We just had a wonderful dinner just now. Small portion of rice, a 2kg of vegetables and steamed fish. This is the first time I do the steamed fish, and also with little salt and vegetable oil and plenty of ginger. I learn that too much of vegetables might not be suitable for my mum but ginger does help to reduce the problem. Moreover, the dinner and the dish was FANTASTIC! The happiest dinner I ever had, because it is healthy.

At the same time, during the dinner, I tried to talk to my mum David’s suggestion on taking some products. She seem to be rejecting at first but when I tell her the price and do the math to show her the comparison between the PPAR that we are having now and the product. She accepted my suggestion. I am so surprised how things happen. I never have such wonderful conversation because I always think about me me me. This time, I lay the focus point on her, her health. Does she wants to live a life with medication everyday or no medication at all? She said she wants the second one. So, do something to improve your health! No worries, I will be with you in changing our eating habits. You won’t be alone because I am supported by my team and I will support you! She gave me some questions that I couldn’t solve, but thank to my coach for being available online and solved her questions in the minimum time. That’s the encouraging part.

A little bit frustration part is that I met people who interested in being financially free, has big dream but they are too scare to make a move to approach their dreams. I don’t know how others think but for me, when I reached 18, I request my mum to give me more freedom to choose things in my life. I baptized and I have show to the world and to my Lord Jesus, I finally approached my dream that seem to be never available for me. So this time, learning to be financially free, my mum was having objection. However when I explain to her again and again the purpose I am on this (still doing this now), she accepted and now she even asked when I am working at home but not going out. I see life change when you are dare to change. Instead of giving all kind of excuses, you’re the one who lose the opportunity to achieve your dream. I am just an introducer to introduce you the bridge to achieve your dream, if you don’t dare to step out of your comfort zone and you don’t want to help yourself, no one can help you. I know respect parents is important but that doesn’t mean you can’t have your own stand. I understand my mum won’t stay with me forever, so I choose to learn the values earlier than I have to, I want to have my own stand but not contradict to what my mum have been teaching me all the time.

I know frustration is part of the learning process. I am welcoming all these experiences like, rejection, frustration, disappointment, lies, emotional and etc. I believe all these experience will help me to be a better and strong-minded person. I am willing to learn and change, now is just matter does people willing to teach and train me up or not.

Reflection

Am I wrong?

Am I expecting too much?

Am I pushing myself too much?

Am I demanding?

I learned to be serious about this but why do I feel ignorant when I am asking a lot of questions? I am not a person who give up easily. I will still find a way to learn even though people don’t willing to teach or they don’t have the patient to teach me.

I am a curious baby now. The only person I feel comfortable to ask is him. I don’t know why. Probably because I knew him in church. That give me a better trust on him. I have lots of questions about the project. From the basic thing to the complex stuff. I am willing to start a new plan to achieve my normal body weight. Even though i tried tried tried for so many years, yet things don’t work, but this time I choose to believe and accept what my partner said and suggested on.

The reaction he gave makes me feel uncomfortable. He is like the only person for this moment I can trust in NL, of course, I can trust my buddy too but we can’t discuss much about that in school. That leave me a lot of questions. I felt frustration. I felt disappointment. I am disappointed at myself, why I can’t handle a little thing? Even though my emotional. I am frustrated because I am not encouraged, not affirmed. What we’re all doing now, yeah, achieving our dreams but I don’t see the team work happens yet. It is still like what I saw in others, moving apart but not together. I don’t know, probably because I am demanding.

I am also a very sensitive person. Something happened last night makes me realized I have done a huge mistake. I don’t know how to correct this mistake, I tried to be unfriend to certain person to give them warning “ back off, back off!” However, is that going to work, anyway?

I have my first coach in my life when I am in this project. I am happy about this and I really hope I can build up a good relationship with my coach but he seems to be too busy or no time for me. I know his dream and his fighting spirit is so high, I seem like nothing beside him, I dream small and dream with limitations.

Coach, if you ever happen to read this, I want to tell you, I hope we can have some time sit down personally and spend time to communicate over our differences of values and personality. Can we do that soon?

Doubting :8

All in a sudden, I start to doubt my abilities again. I start to doubt, am I the only one who is doing what I am doing now? Memorizing scripts, preparing for Wednesday meeting, planning strategy to achieve my goals and listening to the same audio over and over just want to remember what is important inside. Am I the only one?! Can anyone answer me?

Even though I doubt what I am doing right now, but for Wednesday night, I have prepare myself physically, mentally and emotionally to accept glory as well as failure. I believe I can learn from failure.

Break needed. It is time for Ultimate edge, again.

Depending on yourself, is always better depending on someone else to motivate. At least, you’re the only one who is able to work on your own expectations.

Workaholic

 

Just completed my goals for today. Reflection, learning calculation, setting my own targets to reach in 2-weeks and 4-weeks time. I know I started this a bit slower than others. I mean, I know what my friend said is true, “you guys still having STPM here, talking about Chemistry; but I am talking about money and business!” I still remember how envy am I when I heard him sharing this in our lunch. When I heard him said that, I asked myself, “what if I can handle two things in one time?” I don’t do well in my academic because my learning process is terrible. My teachers always terrified me with all sort of threatening words, failing STPM means you have no future..bla bla bla.. it is just matter they haven’t open their eyes and minds to really see, successful in academic doesn’t guarantee you can have a good future. What if you don’t have a good finance education? That’s what the system lack off and this have been carry on and on and on….

Meet up with a friend together with my coach today. Even though nothing regarding is mention but I truly learn a lot. I like the example, their conversation is like a river and I am starting beside the river and trying to collect as much water as I can. Of course, the water I meant is their experiences. I am trying to feel what they have gone thru but I cant because I haven’t experience it. I am sure one thing, they don’t have the experience that I am having, so that’s the importance of sharing, isn’t it? :)

Cough were relieve this afternoon after a kiwi and a big bowl of herbs :/ Well, it works. However, I don’t think it works now. Cough start getting back and the temperature is getting low and lower in my room. Maybe I should sleep at the living room tonight.

I have been reading, listening, writing and memorizing things since this afternoon after my piano tutorial. I had a sudden headache as I coughed vigorously just now. It shocked me and I noticed my mind is tired and I need a rest. I stop all my RLWM and start my role playing training for 10 mins and I approached a friend of mine that sudden pop out in my mind. What I can say, it was a fruitful conversation after so long time of ignorant of each other status. Since we are became brother and sister during the Life Game Last September.

I think the Lord blessed my day with so much blessing today that I get to expose to people’s experience, get to know myself through tonyrobbins,com, realizing I have the determination to work toward my goals and lastly, I AM A WORKAHOLIC!

I know it sound weird to feel happy when you realized you’re a workaholic! That’s me anyway, a little bit egocentric. I knew that :P